SHE'S BACK (yet again)

It's official. I have arrived in Japan. The blog title needs updating though....I'm not in Tokyo.

I'm in Kyoto!! Check out the obligatory, boastful picture, which I obviously didn't take.

First of all - the journey:

I am proud to say that for once in my life I didn't get stopped for questioning and I didn't get searched. My concern was more for the state of Rome airport, where I was changing flights. Did no-one tell the Italians that if you're going to shove a load of ridiculous designer shops into an airport, you should probably secure the roof and keep out the pigeons? Still, I wonder if designer handbags and pigeons could make a classic combination yet...

The journey was really marred by the fact that my body seems to have broken. Over the past month, I have been living with a permanent cold and flu-like symptoms. Except I'm not contagious. I have something stupid known as allergies. To what? Well if you can answer that, I'd call you God and bow down five times daily, kiss your feet or whatever.

So I spent the 12 hour flight, semi-conscious and depleting my tissue collection. THANKFULLY, there was no-one sat next to me. However, maybe I made too much noise sneezing as when I did get up, there did seem an over-abundance of face masks, even on a plane full of Japanese.

Skip forward in time, and at 1pm Japanese time (3am English time) I arrive at the apartment. It smells.... musty. It has damaged walls. But it is cheap and it is clean. There is a natural spring outside and steps up a path to the mountains. But better than the view is a gorgeous futon. I collapse into sleep.

Calle wakes me up. He's ill. We walk to the shops, coughing and sneezing like a pair of TB sufferers. It's very romantic.

SAGA OF THE DAY: KEITAI SHOPPING

I need a keitai (Japanese mobile phone). Why? Cos I was a little too keen on finding work before I came to Japan. Result: I have two students this week who want private lessons. Oh and an interview at Berlitz (fingers crossed for me, please!!)

First of all, Calle and I go to get my alien registration card so I can join the Japanese National Association of Alien Spotters reside legally in Japan. This takes three weeks so we pay 350 yen for a certificate to say I've applied. This way I can get a phone. So the theory goes.

We go to Softbank, one of Japan's largest providers of mobile phones. We go through the laborious process, listening to all the details and explanations, Calle translating the whole time. Finally, we find out how much a monthly deal costs. It's very reasonable. We go to the phones page. I select the cheapest-looking one. She turns to the price list. Yes it's the cheapest. But it's also 23,000 yen (£192.76!!!) For a phone I'll be using for 10 months??!!! I don't think so!

OK, let's get pre-paid. A pre-paid phone costs no more than £42. ....Wait! Could she have a landline number for us? Any number at all. Wait! Now my passport and alien certificate aren't enough. She needs the actual alien card.

The woman bows and apologises us out of the shop.

Screw you Softbank! We went to AU and they sold me a phone. It's the nastiest pink phone that ever existed but it's a phone!

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And the report from this morning: I conquered jetlag! I slept from 11.30pm to 8.30am! WIN!

....Not quite. I did wake up. Or rather, I woke myself up as I fell off the step into the front door, sending a sharp pain down my ankle. I then continued to throw myself against the door, tugging on the handle, demanding that Calle fetch the key as we had to go out. At this point, Calle asked why we needed to go out, and I realised that I hadn't got the faintest clue.

I leave you all with the picture of my new shower friend. Sadly, his wriggly manner meant he was put outside.